What is your favorite non-sexual pleasure

There is something we should know about men and sex

Men and how they have sex, very simple: straight and easily satisfied. Men think about it all the time. Men always want. Men can instantly, here and now, with anyone. "What was your name again? That's right."

Men and sex, we've learned that, we've read that somewhere, picked up on it or maybe even experienced it, so it is very different from women and sex.

Women and sex are complicated. Women can't do that easily. You don't always want to. You need mood. You want to be meant, very personally. And that should show at least a deep look in the eyes. “Could you maybe turn off the light? Thanks."

[Also on ze.tt: Why do women regret one-night stands more than men?]

Totally natural

What turns men on is clearly defined. Even teenage girls get an idea of ​​this when they are advised to pull up the slipped straps of their tops. It could send the wrong signals. Because men actually always think about sex, and when they get it, everything goes the way it was made for them. A natural process, this male pleasure. Stimulus and discharge. "I came." What.

Because of course

That this is not so natural, but above all the basic structure of the sexual double standard, cannot really be said often enough. Because this “men here, women there” is not only flawed, it is also pleasurable. For everyone involved.

This view does something to us, it has a very specific effect on our sex. On our pleasure and our desire. It is therefore important to take a closer look at this desire. New to look at. Because current studies on sexual behavior differences between women and men show significantly fewer differences than the conventional view leads us to believe.

Example: men, sex and feelings

In a study by sociologists at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, the responses of more than 1,000 heterosexual participants in a survey on sex life were evaluated. The scientists found that, especially in the middle of life, relationship factors for enjoying sex were more important for men than for women Connection. "

[Also on ze.tt: You can do that if you don't feel like having sex]

So the relationship with the sexual partner is important to men? And that is even related to the joy of sex? Who would have thought that!

And it goes further. A study by sexologists at the Universities of Guelph, Ontario, Canada, and Southampton, England, revealed very similar results. For the study, 30 straight men were asked about their sexual desire. It turned out that the participants' lust - all in long-term relationships - was not as straightforward as one might think. It was neither consistently high nor constant at all, rather it had something to do with the emotions of the men and with their satisfaction in the relationship.

What makes you want

More specifically: Most men stated that the greatest pleasure factor for them was to be desired by their partner. In the case of interpersonal problems, the desire was consequently to be lost. After an argument, for example. However, when emotional intimacy is felt, sex is also perceived as more beautiful. Not being desired by your partner is accordingly the greatest enemy of lust. It spoils lust and puts a strain on self-confidence.

Anyone who thinks about such study results further, will quickly discover that persistent wisdom on the subject of men and sex can really spoil the desire of many people. Because there are rigid roles that force you to perform. Men who want to fulfill this role have to prove their masculinity with permanent potency. Women who desire frankly may ask themselves whether they are pathologically out of line. And so on.

This cycle of supposedly natural desire can be broken by anyone who realizes that sexual desire is much more complex than the sequence of stimulus and discharge dictates. And then have better sex too. Because that is the consequence.