Regret premarital intercourse

panorama : Counts only the love

The fact that the decline in values ​​is supposed to find its way into our society is nothing new. Whether politicians, churches or concerned parents - everyone is constantly warning against the brutalization of morality, especially when it comes to young people. Michael Müller belongs to the group of admonishers, but he does not see himself as a strict moral apostle. He is a business economist and also an activist with a minority whose members make a rather far-reaching decision that many ridiculed: No sex before marriage. Smooch only as mouth-to-mouth resuscitation in an emergency. “The dimension of sexuality is more than an adventure,” says Müller. He's not married yet.

Michael Müller is the responsible editor of the German website of "Wahre Liebe Warte" (www.wahreliebewartet.de), a commitment initiative of young people who do not want to enter into sexual relationships before marriage. The Club of the Sexless was founded in 1993 in the USA by Baptist pastor Richard Ross, who, as he writes, did not want to leave young people living in purity to their loneliness: “Two young girls told me they were the last two virgins in their school. I knew that could not be true, but also understood how they felt, "Ross is quoted on the website. The action drew circles, a year later they had reached Germany. Michael was there from the start. "I decided to abstain early on, but Richard Ross made my decision somehow binding."

Since sexuality and dealing with it are actually a private matter and should therefore not concern anyone else, the question arises: Why should one go public with such a decision? "Outsiders often react to the commitment: Something must have gone wrong," says Michael. “But we are completely normal, neither tense nor fundamental. We want to be taken seriously and accepted. ”The step to publicly and aggressively acknowledge sexual asceticism is a question of type. “Nobody is forced to do it”. Fortunately.

A potential participant, as members of "True Love Awaits" are called, requests a signature card promising God to remain sexually pure until the day of marriage. Purity as a Way to the Kingdom of God? “Most of us are devout Christians of high standing. 'True love is waiting' is a by-product of our lifestyle, "explains Müller, who has also written a book on the subject. It bears the pseudo-cool title “Be different”. In the book, Michael Müller answers anti-AIDS slogans such as “I can protect myself” with the question: “And how do you protect your heart?” Of course, the book is equipped with the WLW signature card.

Incidentally, the card remains in the bedside table at home after it has been signed. It serves the undersigned as a reminder and confession not only to God, but also to himself. When WLW activists met for the Olympic Games in Athens in 2004 on the occasion of the tenth anniversary, participants from all over the world were asked to send in their cards, around 460,000 pieces were counted. In Germany, the number of those who signed in their teenage days is estimated to be more than 10,000. Huge numbers that illustrate the potential of the movement and make its supporters in the Paris Hilton era revolutionary of the present and refuse to embrace the spirit of the times and the mainstream.

According to the initiative, the ongoing trend that young people often become sexually active at a very young age is reinforced by the media presentation of questionable role models. Sure, the bad media. In fact, the experiences with prominent ambassadors of abstinence are rather mixed. Britney Spears has tried it more or less seriously, star search winner Florence Joy and R'n'B newcomer Ciara publicly admit to their abstinence, also the new friend of Tom Cruise, "Dawson's Creek" star Katie Holmes, is allegedly still a virgin at 26. "Britney Spears has a credibility problem," says Michael, "maybe their commitment to virginity was a marketing gimmick to get people excited about them." What a fitting description. And now it's too late anyway: Britney is pregnant.

People with - mostly bad - sexual experiences are also participants in "True love is waiting". “Many of them don't talk about their experiences, it's too intimate for them. You have made a decision that you may regret and only later discover the value that waiting offers. "

The initiative appears to be less tolerant of those who do not regret premarital sex. On the website, the alleged danger from porn magazines is equated with that of a loaded gun. Anyone who describes pornography as harmless could just as easily pour gasoline into a jogger so that he can run faster. But do all the 13-year-olds who have secretly leafed through the “Playboy” in the supermarket now inevitably become militant heartbreakers, purity screwdrivers or even sex offenders, from whom our society urgently needs to be protected?

No, says Michael Müller. He only advocates alternative sex education. “It is constantly suggested: You cannot wait! But it is not enough to reduce the subject to the use of condoms and pretend to be without it! ”Michael does not want to raise the index finger, with lectures in schools, at youth meetings or at church congresses he would rather convince with arguments and alternatives point out. "You have to convey to 14-year-olds that it is about them personally and that their current decisions will influence the rest of their lives." He also thinks the name of the initiative is well chosen, although strictly speaking it means that those who don't wait don't really love either: “Of course, it is formulated in a challenging way in order to attract attention.” Hopefully Michael Müller will find his great love soon. I wish it for him.

Now new: We give you 4 weeks of Tagesspiegel Plus! To home page