Why are breakups so hard to forget

Revealed: THAT'S WHY you can't get over your ex

"Never more sex with your ex" may be funny as a Hollywood comedy, but in reality this wish is all too often a reality - it fails mercilessly. Because a rebound with the ex is anything but rare. Especially because it is so difficult to forget your former partner and not to seek contact again with every slightest sound, be it a text message or a new Insta-Pic, with a pounding heart and trembling fingers. Even if the relationship has long been in ruins and is no longer good for us. It is difficult to draw a final line - but why? Here you can find out why we hold onto relationships that no longer work and what you can do about it ...

That's why you can't forget your ex

One thing in advance: You are not alone with the fact that you cannot finally kick your ex out of the door. Many people feel that way! One reason for this is buried deep in our past - in our childhood. The way in which we grow up shapes us well into advanced adulthood. Parents play an important role in this. They not only shape us in our taste in music, we also learn from them how a relationship works. Or at least how we believe a relationship should work.

But there is one aspect above all that is important for our later behavior in and at the end of a relationship: ours Basic feeling of attachment. Whether we have a secure or insecure sense of attachment influences the intensity of our fear of abandonment, as couples therapist Andrea Bräu emphasizes to "ze.tt". Are these particularly pronounced they overlay our rational thinking and the realization that the relationship is no longer working.

Here's what you can do to get rid of your ex

There is nothing we can do about our childhood. What happened (and what we internalized) happened. Nevertheless, we can work on our fear of abandonment and feelings of attachment. One step in the right direction is to talk to good friends or even a therapist. Talking about your feelings and fears namely helps to understand yourself a little better and thus to track down the real reason for the fear of abandonment.

But doing something good for yourself - whether through travel, yoga or a visit to the spa - can help. to direct the ex's mind to something else. Another important tip: Self love. Those who love themselves enough rarely fall for the toxic self-forgetting in relationships - and stays strong at the end of a relationship with the ex knocking on the door (or thought) again.

Did you like the article? Then take a look here:

7 questions to ask your boyfriend while he's still friends with his ex

5 signs your boyfriend isn't over his ex

After the breakup: 7 reasons men return to their ex