Can you tell me something useful

Explain love to me!

We kiss, my friend and I, but we don't have sexual intercourse yet, "says eleven-year-old Jennifer," you don't do that until you are twelve. "Anja contradicts:" No, you don't do that until you are 13. "Ivonne asks:" Why so late? "Now Esther Schonbrood speaks up." That would be in the next year or the year after. Honestly, is that what you really want? "The fifth graders widen their eyes." Don't you have to? That's a good thing! "The doctor from Essen hears such sighs of relief several times a week.

For ten years and 150 times a year, Dr. Esther Schonbrood in front of pubescent groups of girls and explains them: about the clitoris, coitus and condoms. But above all about the fact that they don't have to do everything that Bravo, RTL II and the Internet suggest. The doctor noticed that "suddenly eleven-year-old girls asked me about anal intercourse and sadomasochism and wanted to know whether boys really had to be sucked". The "pressure of expectation" on the girls has increased enormously in recent years. Because, just like the boys, they are confronted with sex and pornography in every nook and cranny and take cell phone porn and Internet blondes "at face value" or "consider them to be enlightenment".

The parents are challenged. But due to the media bombardment of their children, they are more and more often subject to the fallacy that they already know everything or even more than they do anyway. Many mothers shy away from taking a stand and setting limits because they prefer a cool friend to their daughter rather than strict or even wants to be a prudish guardian. In order to encourage mothers (or grandmothers, educators and of course also fathers) to be committed to providing information, Esther Schoonbrood, herself the mother of two daughters, has now published an educational guide together with the journalist Barbara Dobrick, in which she calls for the end of arbitrariness: "Explain love to me!"

EMMA readers have already met the doctor. Chantal Louis and Bettina Flitner accompanied them for the EMMA dossier "Too early sex?" (EMMA 2/2006) in an educational lesson at the comprehensive school Essen-Nord. The project that Schoonbrood, together with 80 colleagues from the "Medical Society for the Promotion of Health for Women" (ÄGGF) is leading to the schools, caught the eye with clear words among all the libertarian tones. The doctors, who already alarmed politicians about the rise in teenage pregnancies, had also complained about the "explosive mixture of mass media stimulation and half-knowledge" that can so often have unpleasant consequences for girls.

A year later, Alice Schwarzer invited the educator to a talk show with the title: "Earlier, harder, more unromantic - sex without love." There she noticed Barbara Dobrick, who suggested that she turn her experience into a book. Schoonbrood was delighted.

With "explain love to me!" something from parents that has often been lost in the age of anything goes: attitude. "In the past, parents needed courage not to pass on the prudish and repressive sexual morality. Today you need courage to actually understand and behave as an educator for the next generation." Mothers, fathers & Co. not only find the classic information about ovulation and embryo, but also practical and sensitive tips for talking about pornography and prostitution. Because: "In the oversexualized and pornography-influenced present, girls urgently need support! They need help from adults who combine education with evaluations and standards so that girls can confidently and confidently become mature for a fulfilled life and a fulfilled love life. Alone they can hardly do it. "

Dr. Esther Schonbrood / Barbara Dobrick: explain love to me (Zabert Sandmann, 19.95 euros)