How many fans love to watch Star Wars
10 reasons to love and hate Star Wars!
When I was little people thought orange was still a color, and WalleWalle robes and the belch of fat fish* would somehow have a positive effect on karma.
There were incense candles, Käptn Nuss and Brauner Bär, Timm Thaler was on TV and if you wanted to know what was going on in the cinema you had to call a telephone announcement. It was free and said sentences like: “We are now giving you an overview of the programs in the cinemas beginning with A-K. Subject to change ”.
That was how old-fashioned they were back then. Back then it was also called Star Wars war of stars and during the long break, all fourth graders jumped around, waving wildly, imitating lightsaber noises. All of them were Jedis or Han Solo, just not me. I always wanted to be C3PO.
Many years have passed since then and a lot has changed. If you are 900 years old, you will not look good! war of stars Since the mid-90s it has been called Star Wars in this country and is still cult. There are now hordes of kids who only know the first trilogy from TV and who grew up with the new episodes as a formative childhood experience - people who believe Jar Jar Binks is funny and Jake Lloyd is cute.
So, now that Star Wars: The Clone Wars gets underway, it's time to round up the 10 best and worst things that Star Wars has brought us back together.
10 reasons to love Star Wars
1. Darth Vader
No villain has ever had so much presence, so much dignity and style. Nobody managed to look so threatening and fascinating at the same time with rattle and snorkel in their mouths. Darth Vader is iconographic evil at its best.
2. Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi
What a figure. Half as fat as Ottfried Fischer, with a character somewhere in between Peter Ustinov as Nero and marlon brando as the Godfather lies. Nobody says Bo-Shudo so beautifully! Bo kambabwa bodo! And the contagious laugh of the little chubby also lets you overlook his unsightly character traits. It's a shame that the ingenious, slimy giant doll later became a boring and characterless CGI figure.
Children love dinosaurs. And what could be cooler than a tin dinosaur who can shoot everything into lumps and ashes? The AT-ATs in The Empire Strikes Back may have been the most impractical military equipment ever, but the Empire was always more about chic appearance than practical utility. Why else would it never have occurred to them to simply close the hatch to the “Everything is in the air” button on the Death Stars?
4. Ben Kenobi
An old desert waffle who mystically babbles to himself, overrides alcohol controls with a wave of his hand and is somehow cool despite the stupid name Obi-Wan. Alec Guinness may have hated the role, but still managed to equip space-age Merlin with enough gravitas and ironic humor that he was gladly listened to and watched when he looked at projected princesses and disarmed rude aliens (okay, the gag about disarmed Germans unfortunately).
5. The giant worm in the meteorite
How cool is that? On the run from shooting imperial fighters, Han Solo and Co curve through a meteorite field and take refuge in a cave, only to find that they have sailed into the interior of a space worm? You can't recreate something like that with wire.
6. The music of John Williams
Star Wars would be nothing without the music of John Williams. Whether the gaudy cover story, the legendary Imperial March or the fast-paced cue that is reminiscent of a foxhunt that lies under the speeder bike sequence: John Williams has what it takes. Nobody has composed so many catchy movie themes from which a few tones are enough to know exactly where we are.
7. C3PO and R2D2
A gay robot couple who tickle each other, toddle around and yet play an indispensable role in the fight against evil. Trash cans on wheels and the stubborn brother-in-law of the robot Maria from Metropolis have never been more personable.
8. The Ewok Song
Okay, Star Wars purists hate the Ewoks as the first step towards bambizing the franchise, but I love the Ewok song that was played at the end of the original version of Return of the Jedi. Yub nub, eee chop yub nub, Ah toe meet toe peechee keene, G’noop dock fling oh ah. And cursed is George Lucas for that pan flute puffing that we have had to hear since the Special Editions and that always makes you think you're standing in a pedestrian zone in Bielefeld Mitte.
9. Star Destroyer
Before Star Wars, spaceships were either weird saucers, cosmic trim-do wheels, or goofy rockets. Star Wars shot really threatening, gigantic industrial ships into space, which should change the look of film spaceships forever. Pitiable for those who are never amazed when a star destroyer pushes itself into the picture and slowly begins to fill the entire canvas.
10. Yoda (the Muppet)
900 years old, sly and gifted with a bizarre sense of humor, this venerable and funny Jedi master was one of the few aliens who really passed for a character in their own right. Chewbacca was okay, but apart from Mähhh he never had much to say. Greedo was shot right away, and Captain Kalamari and these hanging cattle were out Return of the Jedi were a bit silly. But Yoda was cool. He hopped around, could be an incredible diva, and displayed a syntax that made linguists around the world gag in disbelief. It's just a shame that he had to degenerate with Basedow in the prequels to Dizzy Devil.
And now for the less enjoyable sides of the franchise.
10 reasons to hate Star Wars
1. Anakin Skywalker
Whether as a cheeky grin in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, as a plaintive teen in Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clone Warriors or as a young man: Anakin Skywalker is horrible. Knowing his story robs the Darth Vader figure of all dignity, all gravitas. How can you take Darth Vader seriously when you know that as a boy he was a warped, stupid, whining washcloth that is easier to manipulate than a pod from The Demonic. Anakin pouts, says sentences for which you get testicle piercings with Röhnwheels elsewhere and is generally as personable as the cast American Pie after the frontal lobotomy. Anakin damaged Darth Vader worse than it Hannibal RIsing did with Hannibal Lecter.
Force has always been one of the intriguing elements of Star Wars, even if religious mumbo jumbo doesn't do that much. The introduction of a scientific explanation damages the series irrepairably and takes the magic of the series originally conceived as fairy tales. In the world of the new episodes, you are allowed to blow into the tube and then you are told that you have 8 per thousand power and should take the taxi glider home. If Lucas Lord of the rings spun, the ring would have run on a Duracell battery and the hobbits would have sued Saruman for disturbing the peace with a horde of Isengard lawyers.
3. Jar Jar Binks
I don't say anything about that. Jar Jar Binks sucks big time and the gay Zero The Hutt in Clone Wars will also be very horrible. Nuff said.
4. Darth Something and the Wild Gang
Darth Vader was a stroke of genius. Samurai helmet, scuba gear and grille along with the voice of james earl jones = best villain of all time. On the other hand, Darth Hörnchen from Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace looks more like he just got the interns at the make-up afternoon of the Laubenpieperfest. Even the double lightsaber doesn't help, because coolness can't be made up for by length. We'd rather not even talk about Darth Asthma in Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. Hello, coughing robogguns? I do not think so.
5. Yoda jumping and R2D2 flying
Sorry, but no! It's bad enough that Yoda looks like Peter Lorre in the new episodes who has sat on a coconut, but what's the point of the stupid jumping around that robs this character of all dignity and all seriousness. And why should R2D2 suddenly mutate into Jackie Chan? What was wrong with the lovable garbage can that chirped, opened doors, spat lightsabers, and contained plans for saving the universe? And where was Uncle Continuity when the scripts for Episode I-III were being written?
6. Shiny spaceships and stuff
The great thing about the first trilogy was that it brought a dirty everyday quality into the science fiction genre, that of Alien³, Blade runner and has been gratefully developed for many others. After Star Wars it was normal for spaceships to be objects of daily use. They had dents, were dirty, looked used. As little as brand-new flash boxes drive around on the streets today, just as little should only sparkling space gliders be seen in space. The new episodes ignore exactly this moment and overload their world with aseptic, clean, somehow unreal-looking spaceships and gliders that seem like a newly rich pimp wants to impress his horses. Pimp my Spaceship? Thanks, but I can do without.
7. The Jedis
They are the keepers of peace and joy and pancakes in the galaxy. You feel tremors of power across light years. They are old and venerable and wise and know when a bantha has farted at the other end of the universe. But they don't damn well notice when in the office next door, the most evil, most powerful Sith of all time is planning the revolution and weaving intrigues that are more transparent than Princess Larifari's underwear, or whatever the woman's name is. What's wrong with the power? Shouldn't Yoda or any of the gang have noticed some slight belch of power in the canteen on Coruscant? Anything? But as always with religious nuts, if you ever need them, they can't get anything done.
8. The dialogues
George Lucas was never a gifted dialogue writer (or screenplay writer, to be honest). He had good ideas, but was advised to always bring in professionals when it came to implementation. He did that with the first three films, which was also very good for the works. I mean, we're talking about the man who seriously wanted to call his hero Anakin Starkiller and Indy Indiana Smith. No wonder that one of the most famous quotes “I love you” - “I know!” then it wasn't scripted, but improvised. How horrible it is when Lucas writes dialogues himself, one could experience in the truest sense of the word until vomiting in the new episodes. The murmur of love between Padme and Anakakin made even well-meaning Rosamunde-Pilcher fans spontaneously bleed their brains, and quite a few film critics may have scratched the arteries of Padme's “Oh Anni, you break my heart” in Episode III. "Anni you're breaking my ..." Yeah. Faster. And more intense.
9. Green screen
To note again: Even the best actors in the galaxy have a hard time playing any emotional reaction when they are led by an obese bullfrog and just hop around for weeks in front of a green screen. Most of them have difficulty keeping their eyelines credible to the digital creatures with which they are supposed to act. Seriously, who's going to play their hearts out for months when their only partner is a tennis ball on a pole that says, “I'm an interesting-looking alien”?
10. The spin-offs
There are many great fan films that capture exactly the spirit and fascination of Star Wars. Most of them can be admired on TheForce.net. Unfortunately, the official Star Wars spin-offs are less convincing. Starting with "You won't believe how bad it is until you've seen it with your own eyes" -Holiday TV special from the 70s (which showed us all serious grandpa-Wookie in cybersex), about the cheaply tricked Ewok- Movies, the C3PO / R2D2 animated series, the Ewok animated series and the Clone Wars series - all Star Wars releases were cheap, uninspired cash-ins that were rolled down with little enthusiasm and even less ambition, knowing for sure that the Fans watch every shit anyway.
So much for my very own, non-exhaustive reasons why I love and hate Star Wars at the same time.
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