My direct friend is flirting with me

Registered since: 03/2009
Distant work colleague flirts with me despite a friend

Hey together!

So I'm really happy about forums like this, because at the moment I'm totally blocked mentally and only thinking about one thing.

It is as follows: A very great young woman works at my employer's sister company (which is not in the same location as our office). Of course we sometimes have overlaps in our job when joint projects are pursued, but actually I don't really have much to do with her. I see her every week at a video conference and from time to time there is an email / chat or telephone exchange but so far it has always been purely for business. I have to honestly admit that so far she hasn't been much more to me than just a nice work colleague. I didn't worry much more about it.

Well, anyway: on Thursday, the colleagues from the company came to visit us at our headquarters for a joint workshop. We received them very kindly, of course, and as "hosts" we of course also looked after them and talked to them. My colleague and I got along very well, as always, but this time it was somehow different ... on the way to lunch she started to compliment my clothes and whether I was so nice for her (her and her colleagues) would have attracted etc. etc. I responded with a thank you but didn't take it seriously. Then over dinner, another colleague told us about the vacation she had taken with her boyfriend. The colleague in question (let's call her "M" for the sake of simplicity) then turned to me and asked me if I was taken? I was a bit puzzled by such a direct question and then after a moment's hesitation I said no. Then she asked if I had been single for a long time and if I had someone in view (I denied both).

I knew she had a boyfriend, and I was just kidding, but after I said I didn't have a girlfriend right now, I added, "What are you doing on Saturday?" I might have to say that I'm more of the proverb type ... More or less responsible for the humor of the whole department ... Well of course she said that she was unfortunately taken, but it was clear to her that I was only in good Fun said.

So after dinner we all sat crammed together in the stuffy meeting room. I may be completely wrong too, but I had the feeling that she was always anxious to stay close to me as she was sitting next to me again. I had a bracelet on my wrist that day that had a somewhat special clasp. At some point (I didn't even look in her direction and was therefore a bit startled) she took hold of my wrist to look at the tape. She asked me how to open and close that. I demonstrated it to her and she said "Ah cool. Good, you can wear that ..."

You all know that. In my opinion, it's pretty obvious when someone has an interest in you, and I definitely had the feeling that day that she did. BUT: you have to add that we are both of a similar age and that maybe that's why she stayed near me, etc. I really enjoyed the attention from her and I wished nothing more than to get to know her better But I haven't forgotten that she has a boyfriend.

So I dismissed the whole thing as a harmless colleague-banter.

The next day I came to the office as normal and while I was eating my donut for breakfast I noticed that the company chat program was blinking, which meant that I had a new message. So I opened the window and of course (or actually surprisingly) M had written to me. It was the very first time that she wrote to me without doing anything business from me. We made some small talk and I couldn't help but think that she was trying to please me as much as possible. E.g. she is doing business studies while working and I told her that that would certainly suit her very well. She asked me why I would think that? I replied because she had told me the day before that she likes to work in a very structured way and that she is certainly an ambitious person and that would certainly not be bad conditions.

She then said that she knew that I would come because of the structured work but assured me that she was not a nerd and would be more minimalistic etc.

It is relatively difficult to reconstruct, but maybe enough if I say that you ask me some "essential questions" à la: how do you think about this? What kind of person are you in that regard? How do you react to something like that? etc. posed ... So actually pretty personal.

Well, at some point I had to go to a meeting and wish her a nice weekend. Then she said I shouldn't get a red head like my boss yesterday and that's it.

So that was yesterday. I told all of this to another good work colleague and even she said that she would actually classify that as an interest if it weren't for her boyfriend ...

As always with me, I think too much about it now and also about the woman herself. I would find it really nice to get to know her better but when a woman is taken I have some scruples because I think, would she do the same thing if she was in a relationship with me?

How do you interpret that? Maybe it's still just harmless business flirting or it's not going well with her boyfriend and now she just needs some attention no matter where from ...

I look forward to your answers and sorry that the text has become so long ...

Thanks and best regards