How do I ask my wife 1

Problem with my wife's previous sex partner

Hello wolfi,

 

I think the crucial "problem" is what you describe yourself:

Quote: "And I'm also afraid of losing her, yes. I think I'm not good enough. I am also burdened by the fact that she had fun with others."

 

Your self-esteem does not seem to be particularly pronounced ... You also write that you have been cheated in the past, which has made you suspicious. Perhaps, subconsciously, there is also the fear of being (again) with "such a woman" who doesn't think much of a permanent relationship and prefers to look out for adventure.

 

Let me tell you - also to a woman with few relationships but a few sex partners - that the number of relationship partners or sex partners has nothing to say about loyalty. Often there are good reasons why someone doesn't get involved in a relationship so easily ... that makes YOUR relationship all the more special!

 

Your wife is obviously trying very hard to calm you down in just any way and to take away your concerns. Whether or not she was having fun doesn't matter to your marriage. that she feels bad because you can handle it difficult and have had bad experiences, does not contribute positively to your relationship and is also not fair to her. Ultimately, she can't help it that you were betrayed and hurt in your past.

 

I think you should talk to her about your fears. and you should think about what you need to be able to trust. Also, make yourself aware of where your self-doubts are coming from and what you can do to regain confidence. Changing the past doesn't work. if your wife assures you so often that she loves YOU and only wants to be with you - as long as you believe that you are not good enough, you will not be able to believe her either and that will be your relationship sooner or later burden.

 

All the best!