Who put their coat over a puddle

My opinion: "Germany needs gender-neutral courtesy, no gentlemen!"

Play fair baby After Corinna Wölm pleaded for more German gentlemen here, Laura Drzymalla shoots back: "We don't need gentlemen, we need courtesy - regardless of gender!" Your replica:



Germany needs more gentlemen, demanded Corinna Wölm at this point. I actually find the thought of more helpfulness very nice. But the thought must not just stop at this point - and be directed purely to the men.


Gentlemen who perceive me as a woman at the right moment - that's not how I imagine it to be. I then feel pushed into a role that I don't necessarily want to play. The discussion about man, woman, cliché and definition is long out of date. And she's silly, it doesn't work that way anymore.

As a woman, am I per se incapable of turning a light bulb into a socket or putting on my coat on my own? Can I only do tasks that have to be done within a three meter radius of the kitchen because it was once decided that it was for women? Even the 1950s didn't want this distribution of roles back.

"I can carry my suitcase myself"

If I let a man help me into my coat, shouldn't I consequently perceive him as a man at this moment and treat him as such? As a projection screen for a stereotypical figure who has to do things in order for us women to be happy?

In this context, that only means for me to allow myself to be viewed as a tender and weak being, who is also denied any responsibility. A being that needs constant help. But I can generally carry my suitcase up the stairs myself very well. I grabbed it and no one else is responsible for bathing it for me.

If it is too heavy, I am happy to receive help and do not feel degraded. But my gender and that of my helper are absolutely irrelevant at this point. Sometimes I also help men carry heavy things. If a man knows how to change a tire and I don't, it's great if he teaches me. But then I want to be able to change the next one myself.

This is actually about something else. To be attentive where other people need my help, to interact consciously with one another and to share knowledge. In addition, to perceive the other as a personality, with everything he can and cannot do.

Girls, forget these gender expectations! If there is a puddle in front of you, then the man does not have to put his coat in the puddle so that you can walk over it in high heels. Please just hop over it - or jump right into the middle with rubber boots.

This text is a replica of the text by Corinna Wölm:

Laura Maria Drzymalla is 27 and is studying media culture studies in Freiburg. She also works as a bookseller in Freiburg.


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Posted in: Small Talk

Keywords: Germany needs more gentlemen, gentleman Germany, gentle, politeness, feminism, feminist, James Bond, Freiburg, men, role of men in Germany, Germany needs more politeness