How do I commit suicide without pain

History: Ten Ways For The Perfect Suicide

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Ten possibilities for the perfect suicide

by Arlen


Do you know this feeling, you have nothing more to do in the world of the living? Your life just has no meaning anymore, so you just want to end it?

We also. Our testers have tried all conceivable and unthinkable possibilities of suicide and put them together for you here in this book.

There will be a nice variant for you too.


Curious? Then buy this book. If you haven't bought the book and keep reading, it will explode in your face. For information on risks and side effects, read the receipt or ask your doctor or pharmacist.


Ah, so you bought the book and don't want to have your face disfigured for the rest of your already short life? Then lean back, relax and enjoy our martial compilation of thoughts of death:


Point one: drowning

You can carry out this extremely charming type of death by first looking for the deepest possible body of water. Weigh down your bags with all sorts of heavy stones if you want to get as close as possible to the bottom as quickly as possible.

However, if you prefer as long and agonizing agony as possible, just let yourself drift without moving. Due to the current, your head will now always bob up and down, which allows you to slowly enjoy death.

Our clothing tip: For this variant, mainly wear tailcoats and top hats. Our experts have found out in practical experience that this combination with corpses floating in the water is extremely attractive.


Point two: hug a creeper

This variant is recommended for candidates who are particularly sensitive to pain, as this option brings you from life to death particularly quickly. The best way to do this is to leave the house shortly after dawn. Look for green figures with no arms. When you have successfully spotted such a figure, run straight up to it and try to hug it. The rest will then take care of itself.

Our clothing tip: It is best to wear a colorful clown costume. After your suicide, passers-by will feel like someone has scattered colorful confetti in a pit.


Point three: jump from a height

This option is also not recommended for readers with a masochistic disposition. Look for a building, mountain, or tree that is as tall as possible. When you've found something like this, just let yourself go and enjoy the ride. It's the last of your life. However, you should make sure that the ground you will land on is not covered with water. This will cushion your fall and ruin all the fun.

Our clothing tip: It is best to wear clothing that is color-coordinated with your blood. Colorful splashes of color in the landscape sometimes have a very edifying effect on passers-by.


Point four: death by fire

The death by fire is particularly popular with masochistic readers, as the heat of the fire often causes excruciating pain. This variant is also characterized by the fact that it is suitable for mass suicide.

For this, go to a building made of combustible material. Be sure to bring a lighter with you.

Now comfortably light the structure and wait for the flames.

Our clothing tip: It's best to fill your pockets with incense. When it comes into contact with heat, it will give off a pleasant smelling fragrance.


Point five: The hanging

Probably the most popular version of suicide, it is particularly characterized by its possible variations. It is possible that the rope could break their necks instantly, resulting in quick death, or it is possible that you will suffocate slowly and painfully.

To try this out, knot a rope into a noose. Wrap it around your neck and stand on an elevated point. Of course, you should remember to tie the rope over your head, otherwise your life will unfortunately take longer than you expected. After that happens, just let yourself go. Death will catch you.

Our clothing tip: It is best to wear clothes with a knitted pattern. This has a very exquisite and appetizing effect on hanging corpses.


Point six: revenge of the living

This possibility has a morbid simplicity. It is particularly suitable for candidates who do not have the courage to simply let go, but who still have the desire to die in agony.

The reader is annoying here for best a servant who has studied "Bloody Rites, a manual for every occasion" (also published by this publisher). You will be amazed at the rapidity with which you experience the beginning of your death. However, this can take a few days, depending on the servant's skill.

Our clothing tip: it is best to wear brightly colored clothing. This will surely stimulate a servant to kill you.


Point seven: the poison

This variant of suicide is not to be despised either. Your possible variations range from a quick, silent death to a death throes lasting for years. You just have to choose the right type of poison. First, you should buy a poison of your choice. Now swallow, scratch or insert the poison into any part of the body. If you want to be on the safe side, use all three options. Now, depending on whether you want to die in public or secretly, you should leave the house.

Poison, which kills loudly and with a lot of injections, is primarily suitable for a death in public.

Our clothing tip: For death in public it is best to choose brightly colored clothing to be sure to attract attention. For death at home, civil is just the thing.


Point eight: a hot bath in lava

You like it really hot and fire is not warm enough, then try this possibility. First find a cave as deep as possible. Now descend and keep an eye out for glowing puddles. If you've discovered anything like this, now step close. Now just let yourself fall and the lava will swallow you.

Our clothing tip: In theory, no clothing is required when jumping into lava. But if you really want to, you can buy a T-shirt with the words "Burn to be wild" in the Evil Chicken Chapel's fan shop.


Point 9: The hackler

This possibility of death is designed for people who would like to break down into charred small parts. It also impresses with its simplicity. First travel to Chris de Burgh. Now climb up the castle until you have reached the first floor. Of course you can also continue climbing, but for the sake of simplicity we leave it at the first floor. Now look for a place that is only closed with earth and give yourself access. Now walk around a little in the darkness of the room until you fall into a moat. Now her death is sealed. Let the current carry you and see what happens.

Our clothing tip: It is best not to wear any clothes. If you are lucky, you will be mistaken for a pork tenderloin below and will be eaten.


Point 10: Buried alive

This variation is particularly suitable for candidates who always liked to play with sand or gravel in their childhood and who nostalgically remember this time. First go into a cave. Now find a place where sand or gravel floats freely in the air and smash the bottom block. The ceiling will collapse and bury you under itself.

Our clothing tip: A T-shirt is also available for this occasion in the EVC fan shop. Ask specifically for a shirt that says "I'm going to play in the sand". If you show this book you will get a discount.


We hope, of course, that you enjoyed this monstrous list. We ask you to recommend us to others (before you try an option).

We wish you a lot of fun and all the best. I'll see you in hell then.