How do you deal with common people
Difficult People: How to Get Along With Them
They just exist - unfortunately. Difficult people. Difficult to behave, difficult to deal with, difficult to assess and hardly predictable. From now on they get rough or loud, they circle under the covers, attack you verbally, are moody to the tips of your hair and pull our patience until it finally breaks. How do you get along with people like that? The answer is often: not at all. At least not in the long run. Because friends can still be chosen, colleagues usually not. So what to do After all, there are a few Tactics in dealing with difficult people…
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
Difficult people: what to do?
Be uncomfortable - this is often understood as an award. In the Bundesliga, it's that Character headswho are sorely missed. The lateral thinkers in business. After all, there's a dose of madness in every genius, isn't there?
In truth, however, the label also hides troublemakers, cholerics, fools - without any spark of ingenuity. People nobody wants to work with. And yet you have to.
We have a few tips on how to get along with you anyway ...
What are difficult people?
What is a difficult character anyway? Objectively unanswerable. But here we have a few suggestions:
- Know-it-all: Corrects you at every opportunity.
- Stubborn: Insists on his point of view to the bitter end.
- Choleric: Screams, curses, roars, rumbles.
- psychopath: Use the dirtiest means.
- Egocentric: Do his thing regardless of loss.
- Narcissus: Pushes itself to the fore at every opportunity.
- Whiner: The suffering of Christ is written on his face even on Fridays at 5 p.m.
- Lazy: In any case, does not die of overwork.
- Gossip aunt: Not the most piquant secret is safe from her.
6 tactics against difficult people
Don't take it personally
Evelyn Summhammer has written an entire book about difficult contemporaries. "In my experience, the most common mistake is to take the behavior of these types of people personally," said the psychologist in the SWR interview.
She cites a typical example: “For example, when you get an explanation from a know-it-all in a situation and you think that the know-it-all actually thinks you don't know. These thoughts leave you escalate internally and bring one negative voltage into communication. “You feel personally attacked and react accordingly aggressively. What follows are Counterattacks - and a new escalation level.
Therefore tactic no. 1: Don't take it personally! Most know-it-all attacks are not meant at all ...
Good to hear
Listening is an art that is often difficult - especially when it comes to a difficult conversation partner. Psychologists advise in principle to on listening focus, not what to say next.
If someone is in a rage, you should be with them affirmative remarks hold back like: “Yes, exactly” or “Aha, I see.” “To say I understand normally only makes things worse, ”says US psychologist Barbara Markway. Instead, it is better to say: "Tell me more so that I can understand it better."
“Look out for that Hidden Need"Advises Markway. So for the hidden need. What does this person really want? What is it about? Why is she freaking out again - or lamenting all the time?
Once the need has been identified, one can address the Troubleshooting do. This is what author Kevin Kruse advises. “People who complain all the time often feel helpless and believe that they are The situation is hopeless is, ”he writes in his book Employee Engagement for Everyone: The 4 Keys to Happiness & Engagement at Work.
“Your only chance to get out of this negativity is to help you into the Problem solving mode switch. That doesn't always work, but it's the only known antidote. "
Keep out of the way
Emotions, success, happiness and unhappiness - it is all contagious. This shows up in a number of ways. Whoever wants to become a millionaire should seek the company of rich people. On the other hand, those who surround themselves with unhappy people increase their own suffering. The technical term for this is: negative reinforcement.
The dem Self-protection owed tactic therefore: Don't let yourself get infected and difficult people keep out of the way. After all, you are not available as a permanent nanny or doormat for a colleague.
Another option, according to psychologist Markway: “Look out for others who are capable to help.“
Apply mirror technique
A technique that you can use if you are afraid of confrontation: behave in a way that is similar to your counterpart. Imitate tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions and vocabulary discreetly. The mirror technology can Sympathy and familiarity create. Because often difficult people are simply on the Seeking recognitionsay psychologists.
What not to do about it when you have to deal with an angry colleague: grin or laugh out loud. That could be interpreted as making fun.
"Humor can sometimes break the mood," says Markway. "But the likelihood is greater that it will backfire."
Don't make it small
Wise advice: Don't rumble back, don't let the situation escalate, stay calm - but don't make it small either. “If you behave like a lap dog, you shouldn't be surprised when others attack you. Everyone who makes themselves small invites others to trample on them, ”says psychologist Valentin Nowotny about Focus. "Those who walk upright are also shown more respect."
After all, it is important when dealing with difficult people that own integrity to protect. In the end, only the stop sign helps even in extreme situations in which limits are exceeded: To this point and no further. Markway: "Don't talk to me like that!"
Kevin Kruse's advice if all other strategies have failed: “Bring it politely to be silent.“
These celebrities are considered difficult
What if you yourself the difficult character are?
In that case, we have good news for you: you may drive your colleagues crazy sometimes, but it can still be enough for a great career. The bad: don't overdo it! Otherwise your career will be over very quickly.
Experience has shown that the most beautiful examples come from the Film industry. For example, Lindsay Lohan, Shia LaBeouf or Shannen Doherty are considered extremely difficult - just like these two gentlemen:
- Katherine Heigl: The actress is said to be a beast on the set, an anonymous source told the Hollywood Reporter. She should complain about the script, criticize the clothes, curse and scold them. “That is the worst service ever! There is nothing to eat! That's the worst wardrobe! ”“ It can cost you time every single day of filming, ”the insider revealed. “Whatever you said, you were the idiot.” Consequence: Your career is stalling - or is it already over?
- James Cameron: Directors can also be little divas - like James Cameron. The Titanic director is considered a control freak. "It's hard to get James‘ attention, "actress and ex-wife Linda Hamilton told the Daily Mail. "He shouts Draw a number, draw a numberwhich means standing in a 15-person queue. "And further:" We knew each other from the first Terminator film and didn't particularly like each other and didn't get along very well either. Oh my god, he drove me crazy because he was only interested in technology, not people. "
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Sebastian Wolking is a freelance online editor. He is interested in the changes in the job market due to the digital revolution.
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