Are people unable to deal with emotions

Dealing with emotions as a manager

In today's business life, showing emotions is often seen as dubious, as a lack of discipline and a weakness of character. Wrongly!

Emotions are an integral part of our psyche and it would be wrong to suppress them. In contact with people, including your business partners, it is important to be able to handle emotions skillfully. Most people are more guided by their feelings than they are aware of. We should take advantage of this fact to conduct the conversation.

A well-known saying goes:

"The way to the mind leads through the heart."

In psychology, a distinction is made between active and reactive emotions:

Active emotion

The active emotion is formed independently of the external situation through the subjective mood. Verbal and non-verbal communication allows these types of emotions to be transferred to other people. With enthusiasm you can get your partner carried away, with expressions of sympathy you can arouse sympathy. Frustration and sadness are contagious. Showing active emotion is one of the most important, often overlooked leadership qualities as long as it can be kept under control. You should therefore use expressions that contain emotions every now and then.

Reactive emotion

The reactive emotion occurs due to external circumstances, it is triggered. Reactive emotions are considered spontaneous, but you should be aware of them and keep them under control.

Showing emotions correctly is something that can be learned. First of all, observe yourself and ask yourself:

  • On what occasions do I show emotions?
  • To whom?
  • How are the emotions expressed?
  • Where do I suppress internal emotions?
  • Why?
  • Are they more active or more reactive emotions?

First try in the personal, private sphere, i.e. among friends, with your spouse, to be clear about your openly shown or hidden emotions. Try to talk about the feelings, articulate what you are actually feeling.

Humanity is a strength. Therefore, do not limit your interaction to the functional side, but show and arouse emotions.

Treat your employees (but also customers) rather spontaneously and less “strategically” or even emotionally. Exaggerated neutrality and objectivity appear colorless.

Whoever wants to convince has to learn to arouse and show emotions. In daily practice everyone realizes: enthusiasm is carried away, bad mood is contagious, sympathy arouses sympathy.

So the inability to show emotions can never be a reasonable goal of your personal development. If you want to be accepted by people, then you have to appear human and not numb like a machine.

So show (controlled) what and how you feel.