If I'm confused, it's love

Affair = love? I'm so confused

Hello my dears,

find it very interesting that I'm not the only one who "suffers."

I met my affair 2 years ago quite by accident. They were both in a relationship back then ... It was always very difficult because A. is totally complicated.
Meanwhile we are both solo and actually meet regularly and have daily contact. Sure, every now and then jealousies and the "separations" came at regular intervals .... Always from him ... !!! Every time I walked on the stick and was done ... Meanwhile, I don't care if he breaks off the contact again because he comes back after a week at the latest

I'm totally confused, I also totally miss him when he's not writing .. Talk a lot and know us both very well ... One evening he said to me that it hasn't been about sex for a long time ... GREAT !!
I would like to confess everything to him and say that I want more ... But I'm really afraid that I will destroy everything with it ... I know for myself that it is no solution to continue like this ... He gives me the feeling .. Security, tenderness, etc ... But on the other hand he's a huge ass and then keeps me at a distance again ... I'm confused!

I think it is really better to break the contact ... probably live in the same place ... and sometimes know the same people ...

I hope someone has advice