How does tantric sex work
Tantric massage: what really happens there
Tantra, what else was that? It sounds a bit exotic, but also kind of like Aunt Erna. In any case, it has something to do with sex. But that's only how esoteric people do it, right?
If you have similar thoughts as soon as you hear the word tantra, you've come to the right place. Nothing is so misinterpreted as tantra - there is a lot more behind the spiritual teaching than most think.
In short: Tantra is a pleasurable practice from India with which you can perceive your body and mind more consciously and rediscover your own sexuality by combining sensuality with spirituality. How this works, which practices and rituals belong and how Tantra fuels pleasure, we explain here:
In this article:
What is a tantric massage?
When it comes to tantra, many think of a small room in which people roll naked on mats and mountains of pillows and massage each other, which ultimately degenerates into violent group sex. However, the extensive art of kneading is not as pornographic as many imagine a tantric massage.
The tantra massage is a respectful massage ritual in which the entire body is touched and massaged in a harmonious and natural way - yes, also in the intimate area. Do you always have sex with the tantric masseur afterwards? No, not necessarily. Unless that's intentional, for example because he's your partner. Then of course you can do whatever you want with each other.
An orgasm is also not necessarily on the agenda during the intimate massage. If you have one - great. If not: don't worry, because that's completely normal too. Because it is more about the spiritual level and about expanding consciousness.
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However, you can only reach this level if you get your "sexual energies" flowing. Yes, that's what Tantra calls it. The credo is: sexual energy unfolds during orgasm and it can be used much more effectively than simply "discharging" it during a climax.
The goal is: Learn to be aware of your sexual energy and discover a completely new side of your sexuality. Sex therapist and tantra trainer Michaela Riedl knows: "Nothing conveys devotion as well as the tantric art of touch."
What is a tantric massage about?
Mainly, as I said, about sexual energy. Because during sex not only a lot of hormones are released, according to the tantra teachings, sexual energy also flows. According to Tantra, this can particularly fire pleasure and bring you into higher dimensions - up to ecstasy.
To do this, however, you have to learn to redirect this energy and make the 7 main chakras flow. According to the theory, chakras are the so-called "energy centers" of the body. They are located in areas along the spine and regulate the "flow of energy" in the body. With the tantric massage and special breathing exercises you can make it flow. Et voilá: ecstasy.
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"Many people want to experience a positive body feeling," says Riedl. But emotions that lie dormant deep within you can also come up during a tantric massage. Crying is therefore not an uncommon reaction. Of course, not because the massage causes physical pain, but because unconscious or suppressed feelings are suddenly released. However, most women experience the massage as a calming, sensual experience and can really let go.
Ecstasy, what is it actually?
Complete ecstasy is a loss of control, a pleasure experience that goes beyond normal consciousness. A moment in which you completely lose yourself and completely let go. You feel how the pleasure spreads throughout your body and becomes more and more intense in waves. Your mind will not be distracted by anything, you will feel free from worries, everyday stress, pressure to perform and the expectations of others.
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In this rushing moment of happiness you only perceive yourself and your body, which usually ends with an explosive orgasm that causes your entire body to tremble from head to toe. Some women even begin to tremble during intense pleasure.
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How does a tantric massage work exactly?
Anyone who has already experienced one or the other massage will be surprised by the intensity and length of a tantric massage. Before the massage even begins, there is a preliminary talk with the masseur. Incidentally, it doesn't matter whether the massage is performed by a woman or a man. It will be discussed whether you have physical, physical or sexual complaints. You can also exclude individual applications in advance. It's also a good opportunity to build trust and sympathy before getting down to business.
So that you can open up during the massage and let yourself fall completely, you should feel particularly comfortable in the room. Shame and distrust are completely out of place here. If you are calm and relaxed, the massage begins. You will be massaged from head to toe with warm oil. As a rule, it starts with a full-body massage, and it is only at the end that it is the turn of the genital area. Sex? Nothing!
The complete massage with a preliminary and follow-up discussion, in which you reflect on the last few hours with the masseur, lasts 2 to 4 hours. So bring a lot of time with you, because you shouldn't get hectic during a tantric massage.
How expensive is a professional tantric massage?
Do you want to work with professionals? The prices for a tantric massage vary depending on the provider and duration and are between 250 and 1000 euros. An expensive treat, yes. But you will be massaged everywhere for up to 4 hours.
Please note: Due to the corona crisis, such intimate services as tantra massages are sometimes only possible to a limited extent. In some federal states, however, they are allowed. So better inform yourself beforehand before you are disappointed!
One thing is clear: If you do not necessarily insist on a professional massage and / or do not want to be massaged in the genital area by a stranger, a tantra massage from your own partner is the much cheaper option. Before he just starts massaging, however, you should inform yourself in advance through appropriate reading, seminars or workshops. Another variant: You are looking for a tantra masseur as a partner. But that is really your business.
How are the genitals massaged in tantra massage?
Do you really want the complete program? Well. There are two variants of intimate massage, one for the female sex (yoni) and the one for the male (lingam).
The yoni massage
Yoni stands for the female genitalia and as the name suggests, the masseur pays special attention to the female genital area during the yoni massage. The focus here is clearly on the vagina. The inner and outer labia, the mons pubis, the anus, as well as the clitoris and the G-spot are massaged. In addition to the pleasant stimulation, the yoni massage is suitable for relieving tension and pressure - because just as you can have a tense back, blockages can also form in your genital area.
Before you embark on this intimate encounter, you can find out more about the yoni massage with the relevant literature. The book Yoni massage by Michaela Riedl shows women a new approach to their femininity, to greater vitality and lust. The book is also suitable for men and an opportunity to learn more about the body of women.
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The lingam massage
Not only women benefit from the sensual massage - men also get their money's worth with practiced Tantra moves. The male version of a tantric massage revolves around the lingam, i.e. the male sex area. During the lingam massage, the penis, testicles, anus and prostate are alternately massaged, which is supposed to put the man in a state of physical intoxication.
Men should also be able to have multiple orgasms if they control their sexual energy via the chakras. This also pays off in other areas: once he gets the hang of it, he can have sex for hours without coming.
Do I need a tantra workshop before a tantra massage?
According to Riedl, it is not necessary to attend a workshop before a professional tantric massage. The tantra masseur performs the massage, there is nothing for you to do, except to say if something does not feel good. Still, it makes sense to know roughly what to expect.
You should know these tantra basics before your first massage:
- The whole body is touched and massaged - including the genital area.
- You and the masseur are both completely naked during the massage.
- Yes, you can touch the masseur.
- No, sex with the masseur is not allowed (if he is not your partner).
- The masseur determines the course of the treatment, but you can exclude individual applications in advance.
Can Tantric Massage Improve Sex?
And how! For women in particular, Tantra can change things for the better. In a tantric massage, women often experience for the first time that it is about them and that they are not just serving as a "vicarious agent" for male satisfaction requests. Sexuality can be more than the glue of a relationship.
"They experience, often in tears, a comprehensive appreciation of their body and their femininity, regardless of their external appearance," says Michaela Riedl. Some women even experience vaginal orgasms, full-body orgasms, or ejaculate.
What is important for a tantric massage?
The atmosphere plays an extremely important role. Both have to feel comfortable. Relaxed music, candles and pleasant smelling massage oil help create a pleasant feel-good atmosphere.
Riedl recommends pure coconut oil for a full-body massage, a good lubricant for the intimate massage and the nourishing yoni cream from Rosenzapfchen to pamper yourself.
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Tantra workshops and seminars
Curious? Then grab your partner and attend a tantra seminar. There you will learn how to pamper each other with the spiritual art of massage and other pleasurable practices of tantra. These training courses are very instructive, but unfortunately also very expensive. A workshop can quickly cost around 700 euros.
What is Tantra Yoga?
If you now believe that all the positions of the Kamasutra are tried out in Tantra Yoga, we have to disappoint you. Of course, all types of yoga make you more flexible, but tantra yoga, more precisely Kundulani yoga, has less to do with sex. But with the sexual energy that slumbers in every woman and wants to be awakened.
Prayanamas, breathing exercises that you repeat during a yoga session, open your chakras and bring your energy centers into balance. Tantra Yoga not only brings you to more self-love through the new self-awareness, but also ensures that deeply anchored fears can be released. The German Academy for Traditional Yoga offers Tantra courses in which you are professionally introduced to Tantra Yoga.
Which kind of yoga suits me?
Can Tantra Strengthen a Relationship?
Definitely! During tantra practices, lovers give each other a lot of attention and trust, which strengthens your bond as a couple. They open up to each other and thus come closer not only physically, but above all mentally.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with adding a little variety to your accustomed love life. Tearing off your clothes and falling on each other is at some point not as exciting as it used to be.
Tantra can be a source of pleasure and relaxation. Those who indulge in the practices can get to know their own sexuality in a completely new way. Every relationship can use new adventures in bed every now and then - and you don't want to miss the chance of an ecstatic orgasm, do you?
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