Relationships and friendships only make life difficult

Maintaining friendships - 7 reasons it takes effort

Last update: 26th August, 2019

In adulthood, many people find it difficult to maintain friendships. The first step is to understand the new rules of the game regarding friendships made during childhood and adolescence. This is the only way to maintain these friendships. The next step is to understand what factors can make it difficult to make new friends.

To keep your friendships going, you need to work on them. For some people, it becomes more difficult to meet other people as they get older. But acquaintances are very different from friendships.

It is much more difficult to make friends as an adult than when you are young. In addition, you may develop yourself in a different direction than your long-term friend. And we realize that we no longer fit together. At some point, many older people find that they hardly have any friends even though they would like to have them.

Factors that weigh on friendships

Adults who feel they have too few friends should consider a number of reasons. First of all, the rules of the game change with age. People change, shape their lives around their work and their families. And they have different experiences. All of this has an impact on their relationships with other people.

Likewise, when we are young, we follow behavior patterns dictated by our environment. And we do what we think we should. But over time we start to understand things in a different way. And many situations that we previously accepted as valid, we can no longer tolerate later.

In this regard there are certain factors and attitudes that make it difficult to maintain friendships and make new ones. Ask yourself the following questions to find out why you are having a hard time making friends.

Do you complain a lot

Are you one of those people who keeps complaining about your job, financial situation, or how unfair life is to you? Others don't want to spend their time with pessimistic people. Try to develop a more positive attitude and find interesting topics to discuss instead of talking about your problems and how bad the world is.

Are you selfish

Friendship is based on give and take. Sometimes you have to give more than you get. Have to listen and share, both material and spiritual. And if you are just ready to take, the balance is upset. Realize that selfishness is a quality and that no one wants to be friends with you as long as you only think of yourself.

Are you interested in others?

When you don't care about the people around you, building and maintaining friendships becomes problematic. If you want to make friends, you should start showing genuine interest in others.

Do you cause drama or problems?

If you cause problems and overreact to them, you will find that no one shows long interest in what is happening to you. In fact, people around you will soon run away. If you enjoy doing things that irritate others, tell others' secrets, criticize people, or blame others, it doesn't make anyone want to develop a relationship with you.

Do you keep records of the damage others have caused you?

Friendship is a relationship that should include forgiveness. If you are the person who keeps books about the mistakes of others, you show that you feel like you are the center of the universe that everyone else revolves around. But you will soon become a lonely star.

Do you blaspheme

Gossiping about others makes you look bad. It might be fun at first, but when you hear someone talk badly about another person, telling personal stories about them or laughing at their mistakes or problems, you can't help but wonder if they feel the same about you talking right?

Are you opinionated?

Being bossy won't help you make friends either. It's one thing to show initiative and want to help. It is another to organize the world or to tell everyone what to do.

To make friends, listen and don't overdo it. Don't be demanding, don't break the boundaries of respect, or act like everyone has to do what you say if you want to have healthy relationships.

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