I owe something to the world
12 things you really don't owe anyone ...
Get rid of guilt! You don't owe these things to anyone ...
... even if someone tries to tell you something else. Or you can talk yourself into it. You really don't owe these things to anyone.
Pressure, pressure, pressure. The whole time. From everywhere.
"You have children and you go to work? You are a bad mother!"
"You have children and do NOT go to work? How unemancipated and socially retarded are you actually?"
"You are 30 and you have no children yet? You are probably selfish."
No matter how you do it, you do it wrong. And now that's just the example of family planning.
"Be happier." "You should lose weight." "Dress differently." "Be more successful at work." "Get involved."
There are expectations in all areas of life and we are really just chasing after the urge to live up to these expectations.
But stop! No. Stop putting that pressure on yourself!
We actually know that we cannot and do not have to please everyone. And yet many people suffer from the pressure they put on themselves - because they try anyway. So sometimes it's good to hear it again.
You really don't owe ANYONE these things:
1. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your life situation
There are people who plan their life in a certain direction and then they go on living and it goes exactly as they envisioned it. That's nice for these people. It is not the case for everyone. There are coincidences, surprising fates and life goes awry and not as planned. And that doesn't even have to be bad. Maybe you like your life the way it is, even if it is different than originally planned. You never wanted to have children and suddenly you have an extended family? Nice! Or the other way around, you always wanted to have a family and stay at home and instead you are now a career woman? Excellent! That is entirely up to you and yesterday's wishes are a thing of the past.
2. You don't owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry
An apology is only appropriate if you really did something wrong. And then it is also a sign of greatness. But if you don't feel like you've done anything wrong, don't be forced to apologize. Because that makes you small again.
3. You don't owe anyone an explanation for when you need time for yourself
You can't tear yourself apart, you only exist once. And just as others need you again and again, you sometimes need yourself. Time for yourself is precious and should be used. You don't have to explain this to anyone. If you notice that you need an evening to yourself on the couch, then treat yourself to it. It's not rude or selfish - it would be rude and selfish to blame yourself for it.
4. You don't owe anyone your support or approval just because they've been honest with you
Unfortunately, many tend to do this: You are honored that someone has opened up to you and poured out their heart to you. It is flattering to be such a chosen person. But that doesn't oblige you to say yes and amen to everything that person tells you.
5. You don't owe anyone a yes.
It's hard to turn someone down a favor when asked directly. But it's not your job to always be there for others. If you really don't like what you're asked for, say no. Here are some tips on how to learn to say no.
6. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your outward appearance
It doesn't matter whether you've gained or lost weight, been to the hairdresser's, changing your clothing style, or just experimenting. Ignore any "why?" You try yourself out and that's a good thing. Everything else is nobody's business.
7. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your food preferences
No matter whether you eat meat, vegetarian or vegan or just junk food all day - that is your business and your decision. Tastes are different, and if someone tries to judge you for it, relax. You don't have to explain yourself. You eat what you like
8. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your sex life
It doesn't matter if you haven't had sex for a while, constantly changing partners, or what gender your partners are. It's only your business! Questions along these lines are indiscreet and you don't owe anyone an explanation.
9. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your political or religious views
If you live by a certain belief, that is your choice. You are under no obligation to explain this to anyone. A discussion about such differences can be refreshing and stimulating - but only if both discussion partners want this conversation. Never let such a discussion impose on you, you don't need to.
10. You don't owe anyone an explanation for being single
Know singles and they hate the question "How come you're still single ?!" The question may be meant sweetly, but what answer do the forgiven want to hear? "Because I suck !?" It is nobody's business why you are single, voluntarily or involuntarily, and you don't have to explain it to anyone.
11. You don't have to do something with someone just because they asked
Someone asked you out on a date or a normal appointment, you don't really feel like it, but you don't want to offend the other person and therefore say yes anyway? Why? Nobody benefits from that. You're not the best company if you don't feel like it, and the other person doesn't enjoy it either. Thanks but no.
12. You do not owe anyone an explanation about your choice of partner
Did you get married when you were 18? You never want to get married? Your husband cheated on you but you forgave him and are still with him? Got back together with your ex? Have you even turned down a marriage proposal from a seemingly great man? You are an adult who makes your own decisions. Whether you do it carefully or gut it (which doesn't always have to be bad), it is your decisions that affect your life. School for thatif you don’t give anyone an explanation.
Also read "Self-Confidence: My Yes to Myself"
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