Will I ever find love again

Topic starter
Registered since: 10/2010
Location: Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania
Firstly, thank you for your replies .

Yes, I have been thinking about therapy for a long time and I also know that it is not normal to trust a person for almost 5 years or I mourn the feelings I was able to give there and have not been able to do it since then.

My current husband knows how difficult it was for me back then, the separation, how often and how often I cried, our relationship more or less emerged from a close friendship at the beginning.

I don't miss the other man himself, just the deep affection.
Then there is the everyday situation about which we constantly get into arguments.
I often ask myself whether it is fair to my husband to have thoughts of separation at all, or if I keep questioning myself, can I feel something like that again or is it really only up to my husband, the chemistry just not right and I could feel it again with a completely different partner ??? I know that sounds more than complicated, it is very exhausting for me.
I can only say that I am very sad, actually it has been my permanent state for months, so maybe you can imagine how it works at home. I long so much to have a tingling sensation in my stomach, to feel love, to no longer want to be without the other ... all of this is so difficult at the moment. We have already been to a couple counseling session, also because of the sex that absolutely does not work ... of course I also ask myself why we got married then, at that time there were enough reasons for me because we are really on the same wave as a human being, just like best friends. It hurts me to hurt him and I don't want to leave him alone with everything, after all, he built the house and everything just for us.
But I'm still relatively young and we both have a right to happiness.