What is a self

Self-competence. What's this? What use is it for?

»When the power of love is the love of power
overcomes, only then will there be peace. "
(Jimi Hendrix | musician, 1942-1970)

Self-competence is the ability to deal with yourself in such a way that I am satisfied with myself. These include self-perception, the ability to criticize, self-confidence in the sense of self-confidence and self-worth, self-confidence, self-love, self-organization and self-management, also emotion regulation as well as insight into and indulgence for my own weaknesses, take heart and a feeling of your own meaning.

Self-competence is an eternally old discipline, said Socrates: "If you want to move the world, you should move yourself first." And yet it is just being discovered by the neurosciences. The very meager entry on Wikipedia on the subject shows how much new territory there is still. The best of this is the definition of the German Conference of Ministers of Education and Cultural Affairs from 2011, which describes self-competence as »the willingness and ability as an individual personality to clarify, think through and evaluate one's own talents, the development opportunities, requirements and restrictions in family, work and public life to develop as well as to formulate life plans and to continue to develop them. It includes characteristics such as independence, critical faculties, self-confidence, reliability, a sense of responsibility and duty. It also includes, in particular, the development of well thought-out values ​​and the self-determined commitment to values. "

This definition shows how far even official education and pedagogy are from feeling, sensing, from self-reflection and self-love. But how can we develop our personality with SELF-competence in such a way that we are good to ourselves? If we see ourselves only as individuals (indivisible), we remain - as a developing living being - from a systemic point of view a mysterious riddle. After all, how could a self-contained system determine its own goal, let alone its own meaning or values?

Self-competence is thus reflected under the firmament of our global environment and in the nest of our social affiliation as a given and learnable gift of consciousness. It is the courageous present-day experiment to develop ourselves from the experiences of the lived experience (e.g. childhood experiences) into a concept of the future. This maturation process allows our hearts to open - sometimes even with growing pains. Open to love for ourselves, our fellow human beings and the beauty of this life. This strengthens our clarity, our ability to win over others with authentic enthusiasm and to shape the necessary change with care without fear and courage. Self-determined agility is then something different from a digitized stress factor.

The great philosopher of relationships, Martin Buber, says: »Start with yourself, but don't end with yourself. Grasp yourself, but don't constantly deal with yourself. «It seems evident that this maturation does not happen overnight, but rather is a development path of self-awareness, mindfulness and relationship.